Medicine

Woman pulls out her own eyeballs

March 12, 2018 04:08·
South Carolina woman who gouged her eyes out thought it was a sacrifice to God Kaylee Muthart

South Carolina woman who gouged her eyes out thought it was a sacrifice to God Kaylee Muthart

Kaylee Muthart, 20, said she was originally leading a good life and was going well in school, but as she started drinking and smoking marijuana, she transitioned to harder drugs like meth and ecstasy regularly. Their breakup led to a mental breakdown and a bipolar disorder diagnosis.

She said: "It's the same life, but I'm just learning everything in a new way".

"But Muthart said the episode turned her back from the brink".

While she was at the church, "my mom was on her way to the courthouse with her recording to get me legally committed". I misinterpreted a lot of it.

'You still see, but you don't see with your eyes, it's hard to explain because I don't even understand it myself, ' she said.

She says human echolocation - where the blind use sound to navigate their surroundings - has fascinated her in adaption period.

And then came that fateful day: February 6, 2018.

That day, while hallucinating from the large dose, Muthart recalled that she thought "someone had to sacrifice something important to the world, and that person was me".

I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die", Muthart told Cosmopolitan, "if I didn't tear out my eyes immediately. "I don't know how I came to that conclusion, but I felt it was, without doubt, the right, rational thing to do immediately".

A man driving by asked her a question, and she took that as a sign from God.

Although she got a new job, she still felt isolated after losing her friends and boyfriend.

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Today, Muthart is thankfully clean but having to adjust to living life as a blind woman.

"So I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye".

"I proceeded to pull out my eyes with my bare hands and twisted them, and pulled them, and popped them", she says.

'I'll forget I'm blind sometimes because I know what's around me. "Later, I googled the symptoms that surprised me the most - numb lips and feeling like I was on top of the world". I told the pastor who showed up, "Pray for me, I want to see the light, pray for me"'.

She continued: "He later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands".

'I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head'.

Across the street, terrified churchgoers from the South Main Chapel and Mercy Center watched on.

"When I was 19 last summer, I was smoking pot with an acquaintance at his house and got a unusual high", Muthart said.

Tompkins believes her daughter unintentionally started using the drug, known as methamphetamine, six months ago when she moved out of the family home. She said she refused powerful painkillers despite her pain and even asked visitors to describe how she looked now that she could not see.

"I thought taking time off from school would be better than tarnishing my academic record and would leave me with a better chance at securing a college scholarship to study marine biology, which I'd always wanted to do", Muthart said. Tompkins has launched a fundraising campaign to get Muthart a guide dog once she is out of the hospital.

Rather than feeling sorry for herself Ms Muthart has made a decision to be positive and even thinks losing her eyes may have been a good thing because she hasn't used drugs since having an operation on her optic nerves. And I was glad to do it because I've always had a big heart and nobody's ever giving me that love back, ' she said.

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